Rock Bottom Didn't Stop Me

Last year was anything but fun. Sure there were some really fun moments, but even those moments were clouded with the darkness that 2012 started out with.

I have fought depression for a very long time. It always sits in the back of my mind, I know I could fall back into that place, but I allow it to because it is a reminder of where I spent so much of my time and where I don't want to be.

Last January the year started with me in a depressed state of mind. I was in denial, that's for sure and by April 2012 I had officially hit rock bottom.

In a span of 4 months my life had been thrown in the air, turned upside down and hit the ground shattering into a million tiny pieces. It seemed like every week some uncontrollable horrible news was headed my way. I hated when the phone rang.

In 4 months, my aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, my cousin was murdered, my husband lost his job and we were losing our house. I completely shut down, my soul felt completely shattered.

I remember at one point time seemed to just go way to fast, I was having actually panic attacks because I couldn't catch my breath, time just kept moving and in my head the more time that passed the more bad news that would come.

In desperation, I went on anti-depressants/anxiety pills...only instead of helping it made things MUCH worse. Rock bottom there I was.

I wrote a lot, I was mad a lot...I slept A LOT and I drowned out the world any way I could. I was only going through the motions of life because I had no choice, life didn't have a "Pause so I can catch my breath" button.

I was begging for 2012 to be over 4 months into it.

June came and something happened. I dove head first back into my FB page. I pulled at my gifts and my spiritual side. I begged my guides to guide me, to help me, because at that point everything was scary. I promised to listen and I did.

I met some amazing people, one of them who truly is my soul sister, Angela. She helped me hold on to who I really am, she helped me see things from the point of view I NEEDED to see things. For once, there was a spark to life again.

Trust me when I say 2012 didn't get better in the "bad news" department,as a matter of fact we received some just days before we got to say goodbye to the dreaded 2012 but the way I handled it and the ability to find myself allowed me to stay whole and not shatter.

Although I know that 2013 won't make 2012 non-existent. Everything that happened, still happened and will in fact trickle in to 2013, but I can see things clearly. I am whole again. I am no longer hiding who I truly am. I discovered that denying who I was kept me in a state of depression that was years long. I am not afraid.

I refer to that time frame as my "dark place", the place I never wish to return. A place of fears, anxiety and lessons. A place that helps me when I teach, learn and move forward with life.

I can honestly say, I hit rock bottom and it didn't stop me from living.

Did You Know: I Do NOT Worship The Devil?

 First of all I think I need a little intro. For those of you coming to this blog via Just Jennifer, I used to be Motherhood Truth. This is my new home, my new chapter.

For those of you coming from my FB page, this is a link up that I had helped host back when I had my old blog. I thought it would be fun to write a little piece on who and what I really am, and to hopefully shed some light on some misconceptions.

So, I do NOT worship the devil, Satan, darkness...or whatever misconstrued idea that Hollywood has formed for so many. I was actually totally unaware that people thought I worshiped the devil until I was about 13 and was flat out told this. Nothing like being in your teens and being told you re going to Hell. ::eye roll:::

I believe in God, my God may be a tab different than your God, but I still believe in one. I believe that as long as I use my gifts for good and never let ego get in the way, God will allow me to use them to help people.

I believe in angels. So much so I have a massive collection of them that spills over into my entire house. The ONLY tattoo I have is a set of angel wings. I own SEVERAL bibles and crosses...but I also own a Buddha.  I may not be religious, but I am spiritual and I believe everything I do comes from good. I can feel darkness and I can feel negativity and know when to avoid it.

So, I am a psychic medium...while we are clearing the air here, that does not mean I see and know everything. I make mistakes in my life, although mistakes to me are learning experiences. I am even directionally challenged. I cannot see where you will be in 2 months, unless...you give me permission. My energy has to tap into yours, I do not go walking around tapping into people, I don't do it to those close to me, and I won't do it to people I don't know. Sure, some people radiate their energy so much that I can't help but see certain things. Or hear things...or hell even smell things that no one around me can. Once I have permission THEN I can go to work.

By the way, I don't own a crystal ball either.

Oh...no long skirts...okay well one, but I prefer jeans. My hoop earrings are tiny too. Hey, I thought I would just clear it all up.

I do own crystals and stones, I do own a deck of Angel Cards, which are a little like Tarot Cards but focus more on the soul and emotions vs the physical. Tarot cards are not devil work either, sure they can be used for bad, but they are a tool...a shovel is meant to dig holes, but hit someone hard enough and now it's a murder weapon. Tarot cards are a tool, to help spread positive messages...unless the wrong person, uses them for the wrong reason.

I fear I may have gotten a little off track, my point is, if you are basing things off of what Hollywood has told you or some crazy idea somewhere down the line from your cousin's brother or whatever...stop. Don't judge and don't assume. I could probably write an entire book on this, now that I think about it, but I encourage you to actually learn and see who we are, what we believe...you may find out there are more similarities than you ever thought possible.

So, did you know?

Psychometry

Photo Credit:
Pink Sherbet Photography

What is psychometry?
Psychometry is the ability to read energy in an object. Energy is everywhere and often pieces get left on objects through out a person's life. Strong emotions such as fear or anger tend to leave a bigger energy mark. Some people have used psychometry and don't even know it.

Have you ever been to a store and you grabbed the item at the front and then all of a sudden change your mind and grab the one behind it or even one further back? A lot of times you are feeling the energy of someone that had touched the item before you and your energy didn't like what it felt.

Similarly, antique stores and garage sales, you may find something you think is "perfect" for your house, you grab it to take a closer look and all of a sudden you don't like what you just thought was so beautiful. More than likely that object was full of an energy that you didn't like.

When a person owns something for a long period of time, or owns something very meaningful to them, a piece of  their energy imprints on the object. That one object can tell the owners life story, or who they were/are.

How is it used?
Some psychics choose this method to connect to a person's energy. They ask the person being read to bring something personal with them. Usually like a necklace. Lisa Williams is a famous physic that does this. They can ask for something that belonged to a loved one that has passed that you wish to connect with also.

One of the most impressive, and in my opinion, most important ways psychometry is used is to help with unsolved murders or missing persons cases. In an unsolved murder case the psychic usually asks for something that the person was wearing when the crime took place. Because fear is such a strong emotion it will be imprinted on anything the person was wearing or had on them.

Learning to read the energy imprinted on objects can be a very useful tool for a psychic.

How to practice?
One thing I like to do is go to antique stores. If you choose to do this, make sure you re careful because there is a lot of energy. I recommend making sure you only choose a few number of things to touch. You also need to make sure you are fully aware of your energy prior to entering the shop. This way, if you are in a fantastic mood and you touch something, only to feel anger, you know it's the energy of the object.

Before I knew what psychometry was, I used to go into antique stores and just get very overwhelmed. Because I was touching everything and not focusing I was just getting an overflow of energy. One time, I almost passed out...it was then that I realized I was doing something other than just looking at old objects.

You could also get a few people together and ask each person to bring a couple objects from people in their lives, whether they are living or have passed on. You can take turns holding onto an object and letting things come to you, sharing what you see, feel and read.

When I do psychometry the first thing I sense is the emotions, then the visions start. A lot of time it is as if my imagination is running wild. But you can change the outcome of what you imagine, I can't change the visions. The more you use it, the stronger it will get. Remember, you are reading the energy left behind on objects, it can be anything from feelings, to visions, to smells.

While psychometry can be  lot of fun, and can help greatly in doing readings, remember, while you are practicing you won't know what kind of energy is attached to an object, ask your guides to help you. Before touching or holding something ask them if it is okay for you to go for it. If you have a bad feeling, or hear them say no then back away. They will help you only pick things you can handle.

Have fun, be safe and trust in yourself and your guides!

Clear Quartz: What to do With it

My crystal, this is the photo that I saw and knew I had to buy it

I knew I wanted a crystal, I wanted one I could wear all the time. I decided one night to get on etsy.com and search "crystals". Boy it didn't take long and the photo you see is what I saw. The difference between what you see and what I saw was the energy.

When I saw it, my heart fluttered. I had this URGE to buy it. A need, I KNEW it was MINE. I looked around more just to be certain but nothing gave me the feeling like this one did. I bought it and couldn't wait for it to get here. The day it showed up in my mailbox I felt it waiting for me and had to rush and grab it.

I put it on and NEVER wanted to take it off, but soon there was a pull. There had to be more to it than just a pretty stone I wore around with me. Sure, crystals take in bad energy and can help protect you, but there had to be more. It didn't take long for the crystal and my guides to work together and show me what it can do.

First, I stumbled...okay there was no stumbling, my guides showed me, a website that talked about placing stones and crystals under the full moon, next to a healthy plant. This will charge the stones/crystals with spiritual growth. Lucky me, the full moon was that night. So I did! Since then I have definitely felt the growth but I also learned my crystal did other things.

I was drawn to pendulums, I had never used one before. I had bought a charm that I put on my necklace with my crystal. I was playing around one day and realized if I took off my necklace, moved the charm to the top and held it by the charm, my crystal became a full functioning pendulum. Pretty darn cool in my book.

Not only did it work, the energy was amazing!! The clear quartz, crystal...whatever you want to call it, holds a lot of power. It can be used for so many things and I believe each one's energy can accomplish different things to a different degree. Listen to is, and listen to your guides. Find different ways to charge your crystal. It can be a lot of fun and you will learn so much.

Just remember when buying one, go with what you feel. Your guides will let you know and you will feel the energy from the crystal. I am having a lot of fun learning about my crystal and what I can do with it. Learning the energy it holds.

What about you? What have you done or wanted to try?

Patience: A Lesson That Sucks

Okay so it's not the most spiritual title but it is honest. Living in a fast paced world, in a world of instant gratification it can be really hard to accept patience. It is a lesson so many of us are getting and so many of us struggle with.

It is pretty hard to slow down and smell the flowers when the rest of the world seems to be rushing by at highway speeds, but with patience that's what we have to do. While patience is usually a life lesson, something that we will have to go through several times, I want to offer a few tips that will hopefully help you in this lesson.

When I am being taught patience all of a sudden grocery lines take forever, traffic hits and people are late for everything. Getting frustrated only proves you are not learning your lesson and will make these things and more continue to happen. So what should you do?

In a line? Take the time to just observe everyone around you, listen to their stories or get to know the stranger in front or behind you. Take the moment to pick up a magazine in the check out and just read it. Simply remind yourself there is a lesson in all this, to slow down.

In traffic? Turn up the radio and enjoy the time you have to listen to the music, or talk to your guides. If you are running late, all you can do is breathe and remember there is a reason or maybe you should have left sooner, but you are not the Moses of traffic and no matter what you do you cannot part the cars and move faster, all you can do is accept your lesson and learn.

So what is the point of all of this? First of all, the spirit world has no time, so when we are over here in this world of time, waiting for our lessons it can seem like it's taking forever and we get frustrated and give up before it has even truly started. Learning to be patient with physical things can help us become patient with spiritual things.

I think the irony of the whole lesson of patience is once we truly learn to let things happen at their own pace and we truly let go of the control, things start happening faster. This does not mean one can simply say, "I accept and will let things happen at their own pace." You must believe it, practice it and FEEL it.

It is perfectly okay to ask for help from your guides and Angels, it is perfectly okay to use stones and any other tool you may find useful. Learning patience is hard, believe in yourself because you can and will learn. Do not give up because the rewards of accepting and learning are absolutely beautiful!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about forgetting, it's not about pretending something never happened and moving forward with the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness is about letting go. Letting go of the guilt and power.

When something happens between you and another person usually two things happen. They have so much power of you because you are angry, sad and hurt. You also hold a lot of guilt because you may feel you could have, should have done something different.

I have forgiven a lot of people in my life, doesn't mean I forgot what happened. I have forgiven myself for the mistakes that I made and let go of a lot of guilt that I held on to. Forgiveness is all about letting go and moving forward.

Ever wonder how a mother could forgive the person that killed their child? They have accepted that it happened, accepted that they couldn't do anything to change the outcome and have let go of the power the person had over them. They are not forgiving them in the sense that they will start visiting and chatting, nor to a point that they will love that person. They are simply breaking the negative cord that is attached and choosing to move forward in their life.

Life isn't perfect, nor will it ever be. Perfection is something that we cannot have here on earth. The only perfection we have is know we are a perfect piece in the grand scheme of the universal picture. We make mistakes, others make mistakes. We have made bad choices and so have others, forgiveness is a powerful thing. A learning experience and can release you of so much.

No one truly expects you to forgive overnight. If they do, they do not understand what forgiveness truly means. It takes time and may even take a few times. You may find yourself forgiving someone for the same thing several times in your life and that is okay.

So remember, open your heart, let go of the guilt, don't let the person have power over you and move forward...as many times as you need to.

Rose Quartz can help assist you in your path to forgiveness.

Welcome

There has been a lot of talk about starting a spiritual blog. I have mentioned it on my last blog and mentioned it many times on my Facebook page. THIS is where my two worlds collide. Those of you that are here mean to world to me, you have accepted both worlds.

For those of you that don't know I ran a blog for over a year at www.motherhoodtruth.com it was a place that taught me a lot about writing, advertising, dealing with my darkest times, laughing at the ridiculous ones and a place where I met many amazing people. It was a HUGE chapter in my life, but one that recently needed to come to a close.

Here I am, reading to spread my messages, teach others and share my personal stories from my very own spiritual journey. There are many ways you can follow this blog. You can stay up to date by bookmarking the page, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, add you e-mail to the sign up on the left and get an email when I post something new, "follow" the blog or even add my RSS feed to your reader, like Google Reader.

Take a look around, there will be a few changed through out the next few weeks, just to add a little more of a personal touch. I am excited for what this page will bring.

August 31st, a friend and I will be hosting a Facebook workshop on communicating with your guides. You can see the details on the "classes" tab up top.